Fifty years ago this August 18th I was born into this world. God knew me before I was created, He knows how many hairs are on my head (even the grey ones I try to keep covered with color) and He knows how many days I have on this earth.
When I think of the days he has given me thus far, I think of how many have been wasted on absolutely nothing. I think of the most memorable days...some of the absolute best days and some of the absolute worst days. And more than either of those are the days I don't even remember!!!!
I can honestly say that I did not think I would be here, like this, in this place at this age. I thought I would be more of a grown up, act like a grown up, feel like a grown up. It just doesn't feel like I thought it would feel.
I'm at a new place in life. My children are grown, one graduates college in May and the other is married. My birth son will be 26 this year. Seriously. How do these things happen? They have lives of their own now and I am not defined by them any longer. How long has it been since I have been called "Zach's mom" or "Kristyn's mom". Quite some time actually. I think for the last year I have been in a kind of shock at the fact that my kids are grown and don't need me like they used too. It has been a huge adjustment for me but I think I'm finally coming out of the shock and realizing that this can be a good thing. I need to see this as the glass is half full not empty. Which brings me to this...
What will I do now. It's time to concentrate on what to do with the rest of the days the Lord has for me on this earth. To discover what He has for me, to discover who I am within myself and what do I really want out of this life. That is a lot of discovering.
In 2011 I hope to...(Mind you this is NOT a New Years Resolution, just some things I want to work on for the rest of MY LIFE)
Reconnect with God in a way I haven't in quite some time. I'm working at memorizing scripture this year...hard work for someone who can't remember yesterday at times. I know this will have to be intervention on His part for this to work :) I did memorize my first verse and am starting my second verse today. If you are interested in where I came up with this idea go to Beth Moore's website and look at the Siesta Scripture memorization part. Just google her!
Develop some new relationships and reignite some old relationships. I have been on some what of a sabbatical from relationships for a while. Because of things that have gone on in my life for the last few years, I just have not had the mental, physical or spiritual energy to do relationships very well. I miss that part of my life.
I know this is age old but I must become an adult when it comes to my health. You know those two ugly "E" words...Exercise and Eating right. Why can't I be one of you people that love to go for a run or work out and love to eat rabbit food everyday and not much of it at that!!!! How do I join this club and become a lifetime member...I have to find a way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just read over what I have written and see what I need. Someone that would like to be in relation with me, exercise with me and learn scripture with me and it could all be done at the same time. Hmmmm, interesting. Funny! I cannot even talk while exercising much less have conversation or quote scripture to someone out loud. It takes all I have to BREATHE!
I have crocheting to do and reading to do that have been on hold for a little while. I also have more movies to see this year. I so enjoy going to the movies and having popcorn with butter and I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP MY POPCORN!!! I have my popcorn routine down to a fine art...and I really don't like for it to be bothered :)
I also hope to write more as I try to clean house with my mental and emotional self. Should make for some interesting writing.
Well old blog friend of mine, it's nice to catch up and maybe we will meet more often this year. It is my hope.