It has been a while since I blogged. It's kind of strange, I have gotten on several times to blog, but it just wouldn't come together in my mind. I guess this blog is more for expressing myself thru writing instead of everyday life. I love reading the blogs of everyday life but this is more like therapy for me, I think.
FRIEND...A word that has been really on my mind the last couple of weeks. A time of really pondering what this means to me and how it works. I think because I have been in such need of my friendships and am humbled at the response and love my friends are showing me right now.
It is said that we have some friendships/relationships for a season and some for life. I believe this to be true.
I am in a season of life that I need (hard to admit). Normally, I like to be the one that is needed...I thrive on being needed (not always a good thing). I perform well in someone else's crisis and take care of well. I know God is going to bring healing to a part of me that is broken during this time. Its very difficult for me, I have learned, to be the one that needs to be taken care of and needs to be heard - a lot. Also, to be in a place where I cannot give very much, a place where I must learn to take care of myself.
What I know is...God has been ever so gracious to allow me to have several real friendships in my life. He knows that I do not have family (past my immediate family) and that I long for family and so He has given me family thru friends. Like family, its not always easy and perfect but any relationship worth having is not going to always be easy and perfect. Because we aren't easy and perfect beings...we are actually pretty messy.
One of the things I enjoy most about friendship, actually two things. Laughing...oh how I love to laugh with my friends, you know the kind of laughing that you really need to wear a diaper. Gut wrenching laughter. If you don't do this, you are missing out on so much, find someone to laugh with. And depth, how I love to ask questions and get to the core of a person. Get past the surface stuff and get down to the nitty gritty.
Friends don't have to be people you see everyday or even live in the same state (sometimes country). The distance is only in miles, our hearts are so close.
My daughter...a friendship that is blooming. It's like one of my african violet plants that has a bud that is just beginning to bloom after a long time of feeding, giving light, protecting and watching every day. A young flower that is beginning to bloom. You know you have to be a "MOM" and make sure you keep the boundaries for so many years. If you are to much a friend then you can't be the mom, which is the responsibility that God has given us as their moms. But, you also have to make sure that you are not such a mom that you drive them away and the friendship can never bloom. I am told the friendship comes as they become adults. I long for and look forward to a life long friendship with my daughter. Something I have never experienced and cannot imagine and pray God allows. When she calls to tell me about her day or shares her heart with me, I feel so honored. She is a gift, a small delicate bud that I've done my best to water, give Light too, protect and watch over everyday the best I knew how and now is blooming into a beautiful flower. This is being blessed.
Thank you friends...each and every one of you. There is a part of me that wants to list each one of you and what you mean to me but I have that part of me that fears I'll mess up somehow and so I am going to just say thank you. You mean the world to me and I know that I have been given more than I will ever deserve in friendships.